Have you ever been in a like interest situation with someone and wondered why he/she never felt like you weren’t relationship worthy. Then if he/she actually get into a relationship (without you of course), do you find yourself asking “What about him/her is better than me?!” or “How is he/she claiming something that was produced from a mating lizard and baboon?” As a single woman it can get frustrating to think about it, but I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know why! Hence the reason I’m uber excited about today’s post.
I am happy to report that I have brought back my STUD contributors. Basically STUDS are my hot guy friends that I go to for advice when I want to know the rationale behind the testosterone way of thinking. Since the passing of one of my studs last year (tears) and relationship status changes of others, I’ve had to shift some of their roles and replace several of them. I now have 6 STUDS (2 single, 2 involved and 2 married) that will be sharing their thoughts on various topics that have some relevance in my life at the moment. Since they feel that sharing this information with me is in violation of the man code, I have agreed to keep their identities anonymous and provide them with aliases that fit their personalities. I will eventually post a full description of each stud at some point, but I wanted to hurry up and put it out there before I was over it. 
I posed the following question to my STUDS:
“How long does it take a guy to know the type of relationship he will have (or wants to have) with a woman?” By that I mean how long does it take you to know whether or not you will wife someone or jump them off?”
Find of the reason why I asked them this question and see what they have to say when you read the rest…
Before I share their responses with you, I have to fill you in on the back story that served at the catalyst for my question. My Ex-Pact Series had a HUGE response from my readers. I received A LOT of feedback online and offline on the posts including the following comment from one of my readers:
“I wanted to date you until I read your blog…It wasn’t the so much your history that bothered me, I have a past and I figured you would too (you are very attractive so I assumed there would’ve been men before me). I just would’ve preferred not to know the details. “
OUCH! LOL I can’t even lie. When I read it, it stung a little. I was mainly bothered by the comment because 1. I didn’t know who the person was that made it and 2. why he felt that was based on my ex-pact series that I thought were fairly innocent. Once I figured out who it was that made the comment I sort of brushed it off because in my mind I would never date him either because he was a narcissistic chauvinist pig! However, a lot of things transpired since he made that comment and now we’re totally in love. HEHE Of course I’m kidding (Wink). While I think he’s still somewhat of a chauvinist, perhaps I can remove the narcissist title for now. (Smile) However, the moral of the story is he put me in a certain category very early on without knowing much about me. Actually both of us did. While I know my reasons, I wanted to get a guy’s perspective on how long it takes him to put a girl into a wife/girlfriend/jumpoff bucket. Therefore I decided to ask my studs what their thoughts were on the situation and if they operate in the same manner. Here is what they had to say…
Single Studs
Mr. Hopeless Romantic that wants to be perceived as an asshole a.k.a MJ
[I] don’t think it takes that long. In the first 30 seconds or less, [I] know whether or not [I’’d] sleep with a woman. I’d say within the first 2 or 3 dates and/or REAL conversations you know if she’s the type you want to wife, jumpoff, or have nothing to do with. That’s assuming [I] haven’t slept with her already (i.e. one night stand or being drunk). I’d just like to make clear that knowing she’s the type you want to wife doesn’t mean that you actually want to wife HER. It’s more about knowing how to approach the situation….Yes, I’ve been wrong about the “type” before. But only when I let physical attraction overwhelm rational thought.
Mr. Ladies Love Me, Girls Adore Me aka Shemar
[I know} probably after hanging out with them about 3 to 5 times. You know if she's wifey material the more you hang out but for the most part, jump-offs are pretty noticeable within 1 to 3 meetings. You can’t rush into wifing chicks but you know if the potential is there within a month or so in.
Involved Studs
Mr. In a relationship but don’t really like my girlfriend aka (D-Rod)
For me, it would take around 3 to 5 months to feel a woman out and figure out if they are wifey material or just a random chick. Sometimes you can know off the back when you ask probing questions to a female and in your mind you realize that the relationship can go nowhere. If a woman has the same like mind as you then she is probably someone you may want to spend more time with but if you both differ in mindsets and actions then you have your answer.
Mr. ‘I was Born to be Married’ aka Overton
It doesn’t take long at all. First impressions are strong and the vibe a woman gives off is quite obvious. I usually know within the first few sentences what kind of girl she is…You know that from the jump as well. Don’t mean your decision is based on what kind of girl she is! You may know she’s only jump off worthy but wife anyway and vice versa. Men can have blind eyes just like women.
Married Studs
Mr. I knew she was the one the first moment I met her Aka Daniel Son
It doesn’t take long really. For some, you can see a really attractive woman who carries her self like she my be a little “loose”, LOL. You know right off the bat that she’s a J.O. There’s some who you start off thinking, “DAMN, definitely trying to get in there!” After a convo or 2, you realize “Hey, she’s actually kind of cool.” Basically it’s a matter of first impression. Could also be a state of mind. If I’m just out looking for a smash, you’ll prob either attract that type or you’re too busy scheming on how to get that ass that you ain’t even listening to her, smart or not…
Mr. I love my wife…and all women for that matte Guy aka Brody
It doesn’t take long with men. i would say 2 or 3 months at the most and a guy knows if he wants to be serious. anything longer than that time frame and you’re just a glorified jump off. a lot of women mistake a guy being nice to her with him liking her. a guy can be nice to a glorified jump off….
I would normally give my thoughts on each, but since this post is already longer than War and Peace I’ll refrain from commenting. What do you guys think? Do you agree with the studs or are they completely delusional? (I of course vote for the latter of course…lol) Do you think women operate similarly/differently? Thoughts?!
**STUD COMMENTARY**First Impressions Lead to Long Term Status
Have you ever been in a like interest situation with someone and wondered why he/she never felt like you weren’t relationship worthy. Then if he/she actually get into a relationship (without you of course), do you find yourself asking “What about him/her is better than me?!” or “How is he/she claiming something that was produced from a mating lizard and baboon?” As a single woman it can get frustrating to think about it, but I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know why! Hence the reason I’m uber excited about today’s post.
I am happy to report that I have brought back my STUD contributors. Basically STUDS are my hot guy friends that I go to for advice when I want to know the rationale behind the testosterone way of thinking. Since the passing of one of my studs last year (tears) and relationship status changes of others, I’ve had to shift some of their roles and replace several of them. I now have 6 STUDS (2 single, 2 involved and 2 married) that will be sharing their thoughts on various topics that have some relevance in my life at the moment. Since they feel that sharing this information with me is in violation of the man code, I have agreed to keep their identities anonymous and provide them with aliases that fit their personalities. I will eventually post a full description of each stud at some point, but I wanted to hurry up and put it out there before I was over it.
I posed the following question to my STUDS:
Find of the reason why I asked them this question and see what they have to say when you read the rest…
Before I share their responses with you, I have to fill you in on the back story that served at the catalyst for my question. My Ex-Pact Series had a HUGE response from my readers. I received A LOT of feedback online and offline on the posts including the following comment from one of my readers:
“I wanted to date you until I read your blog…It wasn’t the so much your history that bothered me, I have a past and I figured you would too (you are very attractive so I assumed there would’ve been men before me). I just would’ve preferred not to know the details. “
OUCH! LOL I can’t even lie. When I read it, it stung a little. I was mainly bothered by the comment because 1. I didn’t know who the person was that made it and 2. why he felt that was based on my ex-pact series that I thought were fairly innocent. Once I figured out who it was that made the comment I sort of brushed it off because in my mind I would never date him either because he was a narcissistic chauvinist pig! However, a lot of things transpired since he made that comment and now we’re totally in love. HEHE Of course I’m kidding (Wink). While I think he’s still somewhat of a chauvinist, perhaps I can remove the narcissist title for now. (Smile) However, the moral of the story is he put me in a certain category very early on without knowing much about me. Actually both of us did. While I know my reasons, I wanted to get a guy’s perspective on how long it takes him to put a girl into a wife/girlfriend/jumpoff bucket. Therefore I decided to ask my studs what their thoughts were on the situation and if they operate in the same manner. Here is what they had to say…
Single Studs
Mr. Hopeless Romantic that wants to be perceived as an asshole a.k.a MJ
[I] don’t think it takes that long. In the first 30 seconds or less, [I] know whether or not [I’’d] sleep with a woman. I’d say within the first 2 or 3 dates and/or REAL conversations you know if she’s the type you want to wife, jumpoff, or have nothing to do with. That’s assuming [I] haven’t slept with her already (i.e. one night stand or being drunk). I’d just like to make clear that knowing she’s the type you want to wife doesn’t mean that you actually want to wife HER. It’s more about knowing how to approach the situation….Yes, I’ve been wrong about the “type” before. But only when I let physical attraction overwhelm rational thought.
Mr. Ladies Love Me, Girls Adore Me aka Shemar
[I know} probably after hanging out with them about 3 to 5 times. You know if she's wifey material the more you hang out but for the most part, jump-offs are pretty noticeable within 1 to 3 meetings. You can’t rush into wifing chicks but you know if the potential is there within a month or so in.
Involved Studs
Mr. In a relationship but don’t really like my girlfriend aka (D-Rod)
For me, it would take around 3 to 5 months to feel a woman out and figure out if they are wifey material or just a random chick. Sometimes you can know off the back when you ask probing questions to a female and in your mind you realize that the relationship can go nowhere. If a woman has the same like mind as you then she is probably someone you may want to spend more time with but if you both differ in mindsets and actions then you have your answer.
Mr. ‘I was Born to be Married’ aka Overton
It doesn’t take long at all. First impressions are strong and the vibe a woman gives off is quite obvious. I usually know within the first few sentences what kind of girl she is…You know that from the jump as well. Don’t mean your decision is based on what kind of girl she is! You may know she’s only jump off worthy but wife anyway and vice versa. Men can have blind eyes just like women.
Married Studs
Mr. I knew she was the one the first moment I met her Aka Daniel Son
It doesn’t take long really. For some, you can see a really attractive woman who carries her self like she my be a little “loose”, LOL. You know right off the bat that she’s a J.O. There’s some who you start off thinking, “DAMN, definitely trying to get in there!” After a convo or 2, you realize “Hey, she’s actually kind of cool.” Basically it’s a matter of first impression. Could also be a state of mind. If I’m just out looking for a smash, you’ll prob either attract that type or you’re too busy scheming on how to get that ass that you ain’t even listening to her, smart or not…
Mr. I love my wife…and all women for that matte Guy aka Brody
It doesn’t take long with men. i would say 2 or 3 months at the most and a guy knows if he wants to be serious. anything longer than that time frame and you’re just a glorified jump off. a lot of women mistake a guy being nice to her with him liking her. a guy can be nice to a glorified jump off….
I would normally give my thoughts on each, but since this post is already longer than War and Peace I’ll refrain from commenting.
What do you guys think? Do you agree with the studs or are they completely delusional? (I of course vote for the latter of course…lol) Do you think women operate similarly/differently? Thoughts?!