I’ve wanted to expand my blog for quite some time to include more info about my areas of passion such as fashion and beauty ‘how-to’ video for my readers.  I’m sort of obsessed with YouTube and can pretty much find any video to teach me out to do ANYTHING! Want to know how to build a website; YOUTUBE! Want to build a castle? YOUTUBE!  Want help finding a man?…(Sound of car tires screeching) Even Youtube couldn’t help me in that department! LOL  I have YouTube channels that I’m absolutely obsessed to the point I faithfully refreshing my iPad app on the hour to see if a new video has been posted. However, with this obsession also brought on my anxiety of starting my own channel.

One thing you should know about me is that I don’t like to feel like I produce something half ass.  The youtubers I follow have such a high quality of footage; I felt like anything I did would be subpar in comparison.  Even though I go back to their original videos and many of them started doing videos on their phones and video cams on their computer, I still refused to pursue it.  Finally, I begged my little cousin to get me a camcorder for Christmas (which is awesome by the way) and yesterday I taped my FIRST OFFICIAL HOW-TO video with some motivation from some good friends (Thanks Guys!). WOHOOOOOOO!!!

Now of course the quality still has a long way to go and I would love to lose an additional 20 lbs to offset the 10 lbs that the camera adds.  However, I have to start somewhere right? I am completely excited to show you guys my work and decided to put together this quick behind the scenes video showing my first web series called ‘Take It or Leave It!’.  In the serious I will feature items that I purchase from the thrift store and rework into modern day looks. In turn, my readers will just whether I should take the items back to the Thrift Store (re-donate) or Leave it in my closet.  The first episode will be inspired by my favorite 90s show, ‘Fresh Prince of Belair’.  (I actually got this idea from my girl/vintage blogger extraordinaire Sammy D, so I must show her some love!!)

I promise to post the full episode soon. (Editing takes so much freakin time!!)  In the meantime, feel free to enjoy me dancing, falling and breaking sh!t to the beat of the show’s theme song…AND I FOUND THE EXTENDED VERSION! POW!!

ENJOY!!

I didn’t want to let a week go by without posting something so here’s a little CAG Quickie for you.

For some reason all of my involved friends i.e. married/in a relationship, use me as the go-to single girlfriend for “hookups”.  For example, if my friend’s hubby/boyfriend/significant other has a single friend they automatically say “Hey, you should meet my friend CAG! She’s Single!”  ::sideeye::  It’s to the point where I’m used to my friends putting me on blast to their single male family members, friends, and complete strangers on the street as if I have an “I’m single and desperate. COME GET ME!” sign plastered on my forehead   I know my friends do it out of love and want me to settle down before my eggs to dry up, so I don’t get upset.  HOWEVER, I’ve decided to take a new approach to these hookups and I want to get your thoughts when you read the rest.

 

One of my good friends has been trying to hook me up with her single co-workers for a little over a month.  She showed him my picture and he thought I was cute. (DUH!…lol…I kid)  In addition, she told me about him and his credentials which were impressive enough, but that’s only on paper.  He could be as boring as watching paint dry for all I know.  However since she continues to speak highly of him and brought him up several times in conversation, I figured one date shouldn’t hurt. Right?

I proceeded to tell her to give him my e-mail address or BB Messenger pin.  You would’ve thought I smacked her first born and burned all her underwear in the street based on the way she reacted. HA!  In my defense this same friend hooked me up with a complete coon that ended up being nuts so I’m more reluctant to give out my number to individuals she recommends.  If this one ends up being crazy, I can at least send his messages to the spam folder

Therefore my question is…

Is exchanging e-mails instead of phone numbers a dumb idea?!  Am I in complete violation of HOOKUP ETIQUETTE? 

Please let me know your thoughts!

I am happy to report that I have brought back my STUD contributors. Basically STUDS are my hot guy friends that I go to for advice when I want to know the rationale behind the testosterone way of thinking.  Since the passing of one of my studs last year (tears) and relationship status changes of others, I’ve had to shift some of their roles and replace several of them. I now have 6 STUDS (2 single, 2 involved and 2 married) that will be sharing their thoughts on various topics that have some relevance in my life at the moment.  Since they feel that sharing this information with me is in violation of the man code, I have agreed to keep their identities anonymous and provide them with aliases that fit their personalities.  I will eventually post a full description of each stud at some point, but I wanted to hurry up and put it out there before I was over it. I posed the following question to my STUDS:

 “How long does it take a guy to know the type of relationship he will have (or wants to have) with a woman?”  By that I mean how long does it take you to know whether or not you will wife someone or jump them off?”

Find of the reason why I asked them this question and see what they have to say when you read the rest…

Before I share their responses with you, I have to fill you in on the back story that served at the catalyst for my question.  My Ex-Pact Series had a HUGE response from my readers.  I received A LOT of feedback online and offline on the posts including the following comment from one of my readers:

 “I wanted to date you until I read your blog…It wasn’t the so much your history that bothered me, I have a past and I figured you would too (you are very attractive so I assumed there would’ve been men before me). I just would’ve preferred not to know the details. “

OUCH! LOL I can’t even lie.  When I read it, it stung a little.  I was mainly bothered by the comment because 1. I didn’t know who the person was that made it and 2. why he felt that was based on my ex-pact series that I thought were fairly innocent.  Once I figured out who it was that made the comment I sort of brushed it off because in my mind I would never date him either because he was a narcissistic chauvinist pig!  However, a lot of things transpired since he made that comment and now we’re totally in love. HEHE  Of course I’m kidding (Wink).  While I think he’s still somewhat of a chauvinist, perhaps I can remove the narcissist title for now. (Smile) However, the moral of the story is he put me in a certain category very early on without knowing much about me. Actually both of us did.  While I know my reasons, I wanted to get a guy’s perspective on how long it takes him to put a girl into a wife/girlfriend/jumpoff bucket.  Therefore I decided to ask my studs what their thoughts were on the situation and if they operate in the same manner.  Here is what they had to say…

Single Studs

Mr. Hopeless Romantic that wants to be perceived as an asshole a.k.a MJ

[I] don’t think it takes that long.  In the first 30 seconds or less, [I] know whether or not [I’’d] sleep with a woman. I’d say within the first 2 or 3 dates and/or REAL conversations you know if she’s the type you want to wife, jumpoff, or have nothing to do with.  That’s assuming [I] haven’t slept with her already (i.e. one night stand or being drunk).  I’d just like to make clear that knowing she’s the type you want to wife doesn’t mean that you actually want to wife HER.  It’s more about knowing how to approach the situation….Yes, I’ve been wrong about the “type” before. But only when I let physical attraction overwhelm rational thought. 

Mr. Ladies Love Me, Girls Adore Me aka Shemar

[I know} probably after hanging out with them about 3 to 5 times. You know if she's wifey material the more you hang out but for the most part, jump-offs are pretty noticeable within 1 to 3 meetings. You can’t rush into wifing chicks but you know if the potential is there within a month or so in.

Involved Studs

Mr. In a relationship but don’t really like my girlfriend aka (D-Rod)

For me, it would take around 3 to 5 months to feel a woman out and figure out if they are wifey material or just a random chick. Sometimes you can know off the back when you ask probing questions to a female and in your mind you realize that the relationship can go nowhere. If a woman has the same like mind as you then she is probably someone you may want to spend more time with but if you both differ in mindsets and actions then you have your answer.

Mr. ‘I was Born to be Married’ aka Overton

It doesn’t take long at all.  First impressions are strong and the vibe a woman gives off is quite obvious.  I usually know within the first few sentences what kind of girl she is…You know that from the jump as well.  Don’t mean your decision is based on what kind of girl she is!  You may know she’s only jump off worthy but wife anyway and vice versa.  Men can have blind eyes just like women.

Married Studs

Mr. I knew she was the one the first moment I met her Aka Daniel Son

It doesn’t take long really. For some, you can see a really attractive woman who carries her self like she my be a little “loose”, LOL. You know right off the bat that she’s a J.O. There’s some who you start off thinking, “DAMN, definitely trying to get in there!” After a convo or 2, you realize “Hey, she’s actually kind of cool.” Basically it’s a matter of first impression. Could also be a state of mind. If I’m just out looking for a smash, you’ll prob either attract that type or you’re too busy scheming on how to get that ass that you ain’t even listening to her, smart or not…

Mr. I love my wife…and all women for that matte Guy aka Brody

It doesn’t take long with men. i would say 2 or 3 months at the most and a guy knows if he wants to be serious. anything longer than that time frame and you’re just a glorified jump off. a lot of women mistake a guy being nice to her with him liking her. a guy can be nice to a glorified jump off….

I would normally give my thoughts on each, but since this post is already longer than War and Peace I’ll refrain from commenting.    What do you guys think?  Do you agree with the studs or are they completely delusional? (I of course vote for the latter of course…lol) Do you think women operate similarly/differently?  Thoughts?!

As many of you probably don’t know, I’m totally addicted to youtube.  Like won’t go to sleep at night and sneak to my car during the middle of the day to watch it because my job blocked it addicted.  (Sad I know)  I think more than anything I’m obsessed with how certain videos go viral versus others. I will even go into the history of certain youtubers to see where their popularity peaked. #Psycho!!  Like pop stars, some of them have a consistent following of “subscribers”/fans and others are one hit wonders **cough Antoine Dodson aka Mr. Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wives Hide Your Husbands double cough**

Well the latest youtube sensation seems to stem from more of a concept rather than a particular person.  I call it the Sh*t People Say Series.  The series was kicked  off  with the Sh*t Girls Say video by Kyle Humphrey and Graydon Sheppard.  Last I checked this video had over 9 million hits and counting.  However, hundreds of parody response videos have been created and gone viral as well.  Check them out when you read the rest.

Just in case you’ve missed them because you’ve been living under a rock, I’ve included the original video and the top three responses (in my opinion) that I’ve seen for the original.  I would love to include more…actually I wouldn’t (lol)…but if you have one that you think I missed let know and please do share!  I have my own opinions about each, but I’d much rather here your commentary to which I’ll respond. In the meantime, vote on your favorite video below and comment away!!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Sh*t Girls Say

Sh*t Black Girls Say

Sh*t White Girls Say

Sh*t Black Gays Say

I had every intention of doing this post on New Year’s Day, but of course I procrastinated until now.   (Way to start off the New Year, huh?) Better late than never, right?! (Smile)  I know everyone is already in heavy pursuit to achieve their NY resolutions which is awesome!  I’m sure the treadmill misses us all.  I truly applaud you for sticking with it.  However, this girl here isn’t the resolution type! I stopped creating NY resolutions a long time ago because tend to break them moments after making them.  Instead I create a short list of goals I would like to accomplish before the end of the year.  What is the difference between goals and resolutions you ask? In my opinion you can’t really ‘break’ a goal.  You either do it or don’t do it.  Resolutions to me are meant to be broken. I’m going to stop cursing TO ME is an example of a resolution.  Damnit I just broke a nail while type! See! Resolution broken. LOL

Some examples of the goals I made last year are 1. Starting taking Fashion Design classes, 2. Stop eating meat for a period of time, 3. Lose weight before going to Jamaica.   I was able to accomplish all of them, but this year I want to take it up a notch.  Since this is a milestone year for me where I be saying sayonara to my 20s (tears) I wanted to do something interesting.  Therefore, I have created a list of 30 things I want to accomplish before my 30^th birthday in December.  Check out the dets along with the list when you read the rest….

I thought I would be slitting my wrists at the thought of turning 30 with no man and no kids, but when I turned 29 I didn’t even turn into mental patient.  Instead, I decided what better way to bring in 30 with experiences I can share with my readers.  Before deleting my blog last year by mistake (sigh) I actually created a list of 101 things I wanted to complete in 1001 days.  I decided to take some things from that list in addition to adding some new items.  I wanted to do some things I’ve never done before, meet some internet friends I’ve never met in person, and hone my new found crafts i.e. making, styling, fashion design.  However, my main focus is definitely on improving my mind, body, and soul as well as give back to society.  While I don’t plan on dying any time soon recent experiences continue to teach me that life isn’t promised.  Ultimately I want to leave this world in a better plan than it was when I came into it.

Feel free to check out my list below and let me know what you think! I will also keep you updated on my progress in blog posts and you can monitor my progress on my30 before 30 Page.  So if you see that I haven’t done one thing in November, please call me out! I also encourage you to create your own list.  If you do please share! We can totally be accountability partners!!

Did you create NY resolutions or goals for this year?  If so tell me about it!

CAG’s 30 Before 30

Deadline: December 16, 2012 11:59 P.M.

First I would like to thank you all for commenting.  I get stoked when I receive comments because it makes me feel like my writing isn’t done in vain.  There were quite a few questions around what the ex-pact really entails and I’m going to address them to avoid any confusion.  Funny enough the ex and I actually had this same discussion the other night during dinner and it sparked an hour long conversation.  I will explain the stipulations associated with the pact and I’m curious to know if you think they are realistic.  Moreover, I will respond to a thought provoking comment from one on my new readers towards to the end of this post. (Shot out to MJ!)  Check out the dets when you read the rest…

While I went into this pact with little to no expectations, I thought it was important to discuss guidelines with my ex to avoid any surprises i.e. if one of us sees the other out with someone no hair gets pulled nor faces get smacked etc.

What we will do/Where we will go?: The things we will do are the same things dating people do. Go out to dinner, go to the movies, go to a concert, go to a formal event, etc. Fair enough right?

What is allowed?: We will be allowed to continue to date other people.  This will not be classified as a monogamous relationship.

When all bets are off?: If either party decides to get into a relationship with someone else and/or if one of us (i.e. the ex) knocks someone up.  I don’t play those types of reindeer games.

What is not allowed?: SEX with each other (Did I just hear a ten car pileup behind me?!…lol)

Yes…no sex in the champagne room is allowed! LOL  I know what you’re thinking. I either found Jesus or lost my damn mind!  While I love the Lord and don’t think there is anything wrong with celibacy and saving oneself for marriage, that is not my rationale for not wanting to be intimate with my ex.  I’ve just found in my experience that sex has complicated things and I know myself.  If I saw him out in the street with someone else (and we were getting down), it might be some slow singing and flower bringing and all gloves will come off! HA!  Of course, he found a huge issue with this guideline and it sparked a huge debate. (There goes the honeymoon stage…lol)

He felt like my request was unrealistic, very restrictive, and  extremely limiting.  He said he doesn’t understand the big deal because we’ve been intimate before so it’s not I would be adding a number. :::sideeye:: He also feels like I shouldn’t “fight the feeling” and that if being intimate is something that both of us feel like doing at the given moment then we should go for it.  (Typical man! UGH!) I told him “the feeling” is what got me in trouble before and I’m not trying to go down that road again.  However, my major point to him is I’m not stopping him from exploring intimacy elsewhere so why is he giving me such grief?

While I don’t plan on having sex with the people I’m dating, I know men are made a little differently and need sex.  Perhaps I’m generalizing but that has been the case in my experience.  So if a part of the guidelines includes him being able to go out and freely (yet protected) bring his love down, what’s the big deal?!  I told a friend of mine about the guidelines and he told me the pact is worse than a soggy noodle…HA!  This friend is also an oversexed pig so I can’t take him seriously.   However, I am curious to know what you think.  For now I’ll refrain from commenting on the guidelines any further.  Instead I will proceed with responding to a readers comment on previous post.

Here is my friend MJ’s comment:

First, I have to ask, what exactly do you mean by “date” your ex? Secondly, I generally agree that ex’s are just that for a reason. Finally, although I cannot speak for all men, I have to say that I find the idea of pursuing anything serious with a woman who is “dating” her ex to be somewhat disturbing (I suspect many other men may feel the same). In which case, you might as well go ahead and make it official now. Good luck with that though, I’m sure you’ll let us know how it all works out for you.

Perhaps I have a different approach to dating than most, but I don’t understand why any newcomer I date would need to know about my ex pact. When dating someone the only thing I need to know (initially) is if the person has a wife or girlfriend because if so, all bets are off.  I don’t think it’s necessary to get into the details around the other people I’m dating.  Do you?  I wouldn’t necessarily want to know about the people the other person is dating.  The only place where it gets a little tricky is if you decide to start having sex with a person and that’s when that discussion may occur.  However, I’m not in the business of having multiple partners and don’t plan on boning the ex (or anyone else for that matter) any time soon.

Also, regarding the comment about why not make it official now? I think both of us have things we need to work out individually before jumping into a relationship with each other or anyone for that matter.  We both recently got out of relationships and aren’t ready to haste into another one.  I think this exploratory exercise is a way to spend time with a person that I can be safe with emotionally. We’re comfortable with each other and enjoy each other’s company.  That isn’t necessarily a formula for a good relationship. More importantly, he’s the only person that would let me blog about it so he sort of won by default. HA!  Just kidding! (Sorta…lol)

Thanks for your comment MJ!

And thank you all for continuing to read my blog and ridiculous commentary. I can’t wait to hear what you think about the Ex Pact Sexpectations and MJ’s comment.

Until Next Time…STAY FAB!!

I’m back with yet another post documenting my latest ridiculous ideas and musings.  (I know you thought I was going to slack off now didn’t you?) I really want to get back to my roots of blogging about my personal life in a more mature, PG-13 sort of way because let’s be honest.  I can’t afford paying my therapist past those 5 free EPA sessions.  I’ve had 3 sessions so far to help me through my mourning process, but I need to preserve the last 2 sessions for another tragedy; not that I’m trying to speak one into existence.  Therefore instead of therapy junkie like Monk, I will get your advice for free from my readers because HELLO!! It’s free.

Besides, even though I don’t plan to be single for the rest of my life the fact remains that I’m still a fabulous single girl and most of my friends are married and/or involved at the moment.  Therefore, by default I am THAT friend by which they live vicariously through.   Check out my latest single girl endeavor when you read the rest of this post…

If anyone in my situation were to give up on love I would TOTALLY understand.  I’m no longer a spring chicken and one would think this dating thing gets easier with age but I’m convinced it just gets worse!  Also, with all the do-gooder stuff I do I just knew the karma gods would throw me a bone or two this year. (Not that I do for others to get anything in return…even if it’s a good man) But hello!  The last couple of frogs I dated sure didn’t turn into my prince. ::sigh::

After being single for the last four years I decided to give love a chance, but unfortunately it didn’t work out for me.   In addition, while I would love to bash the last few “gems” I dated, it would totally be counterproductive.  I mean why announce to you all there ‘turd status’ when they already know it?! (Hmm…I guess I just did)  All and all, despite my debacle of a dating year I have not given up on men and love.  What can I say?  I’m a hopeless romantic that likes to get laid on occasion.  HA!  However, instead of taking my normal ‘get swept off my feet’ approach (because pretty eyes do lie!), I’m going to take a more methodical, non-fantasy strategy to love.   This serves as the perfect segue to telling you all about the pact I made with my ex-boyfriend.  I will refrain from giving him a name at the moment. I’ll the call him the ex for now.

Without getting too deep into our background right now, in summary I dated the ex about seven years ago but we broke up because neither of us (i.e. he) were mature enough to handle a long distance relationship.  He and I have remained friends throughout the years, but we undeniably have an amazing chemistry.  We have very similar backgrounds, have amazing conversation (yes we finish each other’s sentences) and he’s one of the few people on the planet that really ‘gets me’…well sometimes.   However he does have his, as do I, which is why our new found “pact” should be that much more interesting!!

For your entertainment pleasure the ex and I made a deal that we would “date” over the next year and then on my 30^th birthday, if we still don’t have significant others we would “make it official”.  Why now you ask? Hello! I’m did you not see that I’m about to be 30! (Smile)  Plus, he is probably one of the only men I know that would be comfortable with me discussing our situation so that other people may benefit i.e. be entertained. Moreover, I know I’m speaking in a satirical tone, but he and I are totally taking this serious. I normally don’t entertain the idea of getting back with an ex, but who knows?  This might actually work!

A few days ago my big brother actually inspired me to embark on this social experiment (even though he may not realize it).  He basically told me to look at [relationships] like an MBA case study.  He suggested I do the following:

• Look at the problem
• look at the alternatives
• Make a plan
• Then execute
• You will have the man of your dreams by March

While this may be a bit of a purist outlook, not to mention I’m not looking for my ‘dream man’ by March, I think this ex pact will be a good case study to get my feet wet for now.    I hope you will stay tuned for more “Ex-Pact Series…” headlines on my blog and even some vlog footage in the near future! Yes I got a video camera for Christmas and I’m amped to use it!! YAAAAAAAY!!!

What do you think about my plan?!  Is it completely outlandish?  Have you ever dated an ex and it worked out in your favor?  Let me know your thoughts.

Until Next Time…STAY FAB!!

Check out what I decided to where with it when you read the rest…

I actually got this jacket a few months ago from my mentor who seems to be my gold source for all the vintage pieces I own.  She was actually preparing to give this jacket to good will and I convinced her it would practically be a crime to give it to anyone BUT ME!  I mean who else would do it justice!

The jacket belonged to her late cousin Ola who also owned the fox fur she gave me for my birthday.  I’ve been feeling like the spirit of cousin Ola has taken over my body because I love everything about her style!  These jackets were huge in the 80s and back then they were extremely expensive costing around the $500+ price point.  Oftentimes these pieces were made in India and the sequins were hand stitched on 100$ silk lining which sort of explains the cost.

I’ve been trying to figure out what I should do with this jacket for MONTHS and I thought a holiday party would be appropriate since it is sort of festive.  At first I was a bit worried about wearing the jacket because when I posted it on Facebook asking my friends if I should wear it, it was met with mixed reviews.  Some people loved it, others liked it but found it inappropriate for anything other than the disco and some people absolutely despised it. Ultimately I decided it to go for it!

I rocked it with a black mini dress from H&M, a gold belt from Gilded Vintage, some sheer black stockings from Macy’s, and some royal blue platform shoes by Jessica Simpson. The jacket was a HUGE hit at the party and definitely served as a conversation piece.  I received a lot of compliments on my outfit, especially on the shoes, and I’m actually glad I decided not to punk out and wear it.  On the other hand, a lot of people stopped in their tracks, stared at me and didn’t know quite what to say. LOL However, I can admit that I looked like a walking Christmas tree ornament.  Personally I loved my Lady Gaga gone chic look and I’m all about bringing shoulder pads back in style!

 What do you think?  Are you feeling the outfit or should I have left the jacket at home?

I had the pleasure of being treated to lunches, brunch, and dinner with great friends (THANK YOU GUYS!) AAAAAAAAAAND  I got some awesome presents!! I can’t lie, I love love love love love getting gifts! (Even if I have to treat myself to some…hehe)

I know your DYING to know what I got for my birthday?  Check out my awesome gift when you read the rest!!

1.  Every Girl Needs a Guide to Fabulousness!

Even though I love keeping up with that latest trends, I think its important to always hone your personal style and add pieces to your wardrobe to fit well with your shape.  I was out shopping with my mentor/2nd mother this weekend and when we were in Loehmann’s in the checkout line this book actually caught my eye.  As I picked it up and started to read it she grabbed it from me and bought it. (I heart her!)

I know I should be reading something more intellectually stimulating, but I was sold when I saw the leopard print peeptoes on the cover.

2. I’ll Drink to That!!

Since college, I’ve had the nickname Bette because my friends somehow think I I look like the black girl version of Bette Midler. (It’s the nose) Some years later my ex’s brother decided to call me ‘Boop’ because I had a big head, big boobs and a MUCH smaller waist at the time like Betty Boop!  Either way both nickname have stuck over time and I’ve embraced that people think I look like a movie star/cartoon character!

My sorority sister/love of my life, Lee,  got me this oversized Betty Boop wine glass (because she thinks I’m a lush or at least wants me to be one like her) and keychain.  I love everything about it!

3. Naughty AND NICE: Single Girl’s Roadtrip to Happiness

This gift ALSO came from Ms. Lee (she’s hilarious).  I actually won this bag of happy in a gift exchange.  Even though it wasn’t intended to be a birthday gift, I embracing it as such becausethe thought of it puts me in a happy place! (Smile)

For those that haven’t figured out what is in yet, I’ll fill you in.  In a Xmas stocking she placed 2 small bottles of flavored ciroc vodka, a bullet (vibrator), a bling ring and a four leaf clover necklace.  This is a gauranteed bag a goodies to make any single girl feel lucky at night! #WINNING

Top left (Jessica Simpson color block peep toe shoes), Top Right (BCBG Girls Color blog pumps), Bottom Left (INC International Glitter peeptoe slingbacks), Bottom Right (Guess patent leather black peeptoe with color heel and platform)

4. SHOEICIDE WATCH!!!: Color Block Fab Coupled w/ Bling!

Everybody knows I have a shoe addiction.  Therefore, at this point you should be used to it! I decided to treat myself to a pair of shoes on my birthday but somehow I walked out the store with four pairs.   Let me introduce you!

Meet Miss Jessy (top left), Mr. Will You be Mine (Top Right), Guess Who?(Bottom Right), and The Bling Means everything to Me (bottom left).  Color blocking and glitter are totally in this season!

 5. HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLO Mr. Lous!

When my mentor handed me a Louis Vuitton shopping bag, I screamed so loud I probably ruined both her eardrums. I didn’t know what was in the bag, but who can go wrong with Mr. Louis?!! When I opened the box I was far from dissappointed.

She got me this beige and white damier print cosmetic purse.  What more could this girl ask for (besides a man of course…lol)

 6. Something Old, Something New: Fox in Fox!

I saved this present for last because I think I might be in love.  I also waited to share it because of the sentiment associated with you.  Lately I’ve been getting into vintage fashion…oh hell who am I kidding…I’m obsessed with it!  I’ve particularly fascinated with the 70s and 80s era.

My mentor decided to give me this authentic fox fur that belonged to her cousin that passed away because she said ”every girl should own an authentic fur at some point in her life’.  I know PETA is screaming right now, but seriously the thing has been dead for almost 30 yrs at this point.  I should be given a pass since it was my birthday.

This is actually not the first piece she’s given me from Cousin Ola but the reason I love it so much is because she always says things like ‘Cousin Ola would love you’ or ‘I know it would make her smile if she saw you in this’. In a way I’m keeping her memory alive through fashion and that is an awesome feeling!

As you can see I had a PHENOMENAL birthday from a gift and experience perspective.  Now it’s time to get ready for the Xmas.  I haven’t bought a THING!! Are you done Xmas shopping? What do you want for Xmas?

DID YOU MISS ME?!!  I know I’ve missed you!!! Even though it’s MY BIRTHDAY, I decided to give my readers a present of finally posting something after months of anticipation!   In addition, I’ve decided to remove the previous few posts, because they sucked worse than a breastfeed newborn, and start fresh!   I know people normally wait until the end of the year to reflect on the past year and create resolutions that they break within the first week of January.  However, I’ve decided that MY NEW YEAR BEGINS TODAY!

As I reflect on the past year of my life, my emotions are running all over the place as I try to digest the good with the bad things that have occurred over the last 365 days.

On the plus side:

• I began to put my health first and turned Vegan for 6 months
• I became a go hard gym junkie, runner/pseudo marathoner and lost almost 40 lbs!!
• I decided to pursue my dream of being a huge fashion mogul by enrolling in a Fashion Design program
• I’ve been able to explore my creative side through my makeup artistry and stylist skills while participating in some AMAZING photoshoots with my soulmate from a previous life, Derek Chase.
• I wore the same little black dress for 100 FREAKING DAYS all in the name of fashion and charity (This was a total win for me and probably unhygienic to others…lol)
• I raised over $2000 for a charity over the course of the year and on top of that donated $500 of my own money to various charities throughout the year
• I finally took the first steps to repair a downtrodden relationship with my estranged father after not seeing him for over 5 years

What more could a girl ask for in life, right?! I definitely started this year with every intention on ‘Being My Best Self’, but nothing would ever prepare me for the following setbacks:

• I experienced 1.5 breakups…I say 1 and ½ because they really weren’t worth my time. (Smile)
• I magically erased the last two years of blog posts (TEARS!!)
• I stopped going to the gym, reverted back to eating trash and gained 25 lbs back of the 40 I lost.
• In the midst of me trying to repair a relationship with my father, I found out that I have a 14 year old half sister FROM HIS COWORKER.
• I also found out that my older sister, that I grew up with mind you, not only knew about her and never told me, but she also met her and has spent time with her.  (Needless to say we had a falling out and I haven’t talked to her in SIX MONTHS!)
• However, probably the most earth shattering part of my year was undoubtedly the untimely death of a close friend, Armon.

To many he was known affectionately as Stixx, to me he was simply Bestie, but for those that have been following my many blogs throughout the last 6 years he was Slim.  As you know (or may not know) initially we dated for a while but eventually realized we were much better suited a friends.  (Smile)  His most recent involvement in my blog world was as a contributing stud that I would go to when I needed advice and ridiculous commentary on ‘What Men Really Think”. I coined him as Mr. Hot Single Guy with Commitment Issues and described him as follows:

Slim has a good heart, but he has serious commitment issues. He says he just has major trust issues with women. I always wonder if its the women he doesn’t trust or is the fact that he knows he can’t be trusted? I’m sure he will figure it out one day, but in the meantime he will represent my stud that is unable to be a one woman man. However, I’m giving any woman that can get this guy to settle down a freaking award ceremony because she deserves it!

Since I wrote this description about Slim years ago so much changed in both of our lives even down to his stud status.  Not only did he become one of my best male friends on the planet, he did get hit by cupid’s arrow and actually settled down with someone that he cared for very much.  I’ve lost quite a few friends in my short lifetime, but for some reason his death BY FAR has hit me hardest out of all of them.  I just don’t understand how someone so young, healthy, stylish, driven, and so full of love and life could be stripped from the world so soon! Like who really dies in their sleep at 31?!

Aforementioned, I’ve had quite a few young friends die in the past for health reasons, violent crimes, substance abuse…etc.  While I’ve been hurt by their passing I’ve always been able to rationalize their deaths.  However, none of the prior REMOTELY applies to Slim.  He didn’t have any health issues, he didn’t abuse drugs and he was a lover not a fighter; thus a life of crime was not for him.  Since his death, I’ve sought out spiritual enlightenment and even professional assistance (yes I have a shrink now!) to gain some sort of clarity around the situation.  While I’ve made some progress over the last few weeks, his passing definitely makes me question my own mortality.  We were so similar in a lot of ways including our unwillingness to show vulnerability in many situations including relationships.  I could go on and on, but I’ll spare you the details because hello!  I want to end this post on a high note!!  One thing I know he wouldn’t want me to do is sulk in my own self pity and become paralyzed by grief.  Besides “settling down and having some babies before my eggs dried up” as he so eloquently put it in one of our last convos, he would want me follow my dreams by any means necessary (other than selling my soul to the devil of course) I can totally here him say “COME ON BESTIE!! Is crying about me dying going to make you money?! NO! So get it together and go get that paper!! Time for CAG to take over the world in that little black dress!!!’  He was so poetic in his own right. (Smile) It’s weird because I still feel like his spirit is still very much here with me as if God granted me a new guardian angel.

I’ve been trying so hard to find my own special way to commemorate him since he passed.  I thought about having a massive monument built of him and having it place in a location that everyone in the world would see! However while I’m sure he would just LOVE THAT, I’m certainly not rich YET.  Instead I’ve decided to dedicate my blog to him! I mean it may not be a big deal (and a semi-cheap approach) to you but I think it’s pretty awesome! (Smile)

Going forward, I hope to not only use this blog as a means for me to share my personal opinions on Fashion, Health/Fitness and Random Ridiculousness (Wink), but I also hope that as I discuss my own healing process I can somehow help someone else.  He would totally want it that way.

R.I.P Bestie…Thanks for continuining to encourage,  inpire, and motivate me in spirit! Though your not physically here, you live on in the hearts and minds of all the people you’ve touched.  I promise I’ll make you proud. Love Ya!! -Middax